I am a little late getting this in here, but I wanted to update it for the record. This is my list of things NOT to do on our countries birthday, all of which I learned at my family's 4th of July party.
1. Don't drink to the point where you almost get into a fist fight with your girlfriend's dad.
2. Don't make a scene in front of half your work, you will hear about it on Monday.
3. Don't play with matches and explosives while intoxicated, the results can be less than desired.
4. Don't stuff your face full of food even though it is readily available.
5. On the same note, don't fill your gut with booze just because it is also readily available.
6. Both of the above will most likely result in vomiting.
7. Make sure your bathing suit isn't worn out in the butt before wearing or everyone will be checking out your buttcrack.
8. Adults don't belong on the moonbounce, period.
Next year I might need to forego the family picnic and spend a nice, drama-free day at home. At least it won't involve drunken outbursts, heiney's, and old people boobs flopping on the air-filled bounce fortress.
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