Lots to talk about!

First of all, Chase has a touch of a cold :( Poor little guy! He has been sick twice his entire life, including now, so not too bad seeing as he is almost a year old, but I still feel bad for the little guy. It does seem to be getting better though. He doesn't side quite as stuffed up as he did the other night. He still has a little cough and has a little congestion, but less so I am figuring that it is on his way out. He also got another tooth in. Now he has 3 on top and two on the bottom!! No teeth for 8-9 months and here gets five over the course of one month. His walking is really good now and he is able to walk over somewhere, turn around, crouch and pick something up, and come back. Still not perfected yet, but if he has the opportunity, he walks 90% of the time vs. crawling. He can also stand without using anything to pull up on, but he has only done that a handful of times so far.

Now, in my neck of the woods, things are going pretty good. I am getting a fat refund check so I don't have to work as often, which is nice so that I can spend more time with Chase. School is going pretty well, I am about a 1/3 of the way done the semester = a 1/3 of the way until I graduate! My supervisor at work recommended me to the higher level supervisor for this nursing leadership type internship through Main Line and they really think I should apply. It is supposed to be a really good opportunity and they think I make a really good candidate. I have to call MC about it and get the details. I don't have a lot of extra time to give, especially if I am not being paid (don't know for sure, but it is an internship and it might not get me any bucks) but a once a week committment or something that isn't too crazy is definitely doable, especially if I can get it on my resume. Also, apparantly I already have a job at Riddle, so that takes the fear/panic/nervousness about whether or not I will find a job in a hospital! My dad said that MC was telling him that everyone is requesting me to work on their floor as an aide and that I am doing a really good job! I like when I hear that because I know that it will only help my career in nursing if they know that I am a hard worker, eager to learn, reliable, and develop good relationships with my coworkers and my patients.

And last, and kind of least for the day, my diet :( I did really bad the last two days. I don't know what is going on. The first 20 something days I was so good and stuck to my diet it so well. Since then I have had like 5 cheat days. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that I am actually doing well. I see myself and I see how much smaller I am and I am letting up on myself a little bit. I have achieved a very good weight loss to this point, and much faster than expected, and I guess I am letting myself have a day or two of self indulgence. I don't know. I do know though, that when I do let myself have a relaxed day I tend to overeat, to the point of feeling sick, and I can't do that. If I am going to let myself cheat a little I need to not eat more than I would on a non-diet diet, I just need not restrict myself. It is like it is one or the other, be good on my diet or gorge on my diet. Night time is the problem though, I will be good all day and then at night just throw in the towel. So all my hard work from the day is worth nothing...? I just need to refind my motivation...off to look at some Victoria's Secret Models, at least they are good for something!

Fallen off the wagon...

Well I fell off the wagon yesterday. The diet wagon. I was doing so good, but those brownies were calling my name and frankly, I couldn't resist the call. I figure it this way...24 days of straight-edged dieting deserves one day of free-for-all...right? Well even if it doesn't, it is too late now. I guess I just need to right it down and get it out so that I know I made the decision to eat, but at the same point, I also need to know that I can't dwell on it, nor should I make it a habit. Getting back into a healthy lifestyle is hard and it is a big change and I guess I shouldn't expect myself to be a straight-shooter the whole time. Sometimes it is nice to have a cheat day. I guess I shouldn't exactly deprive myself either, or I will be setting myself up for total diet failure vs. a day of diet indulgance. Plus, I have lost 11 pounds so I shouldn't be too hard on myself! I guess what I am saying is that having a day of laxity in a diet is not always bad thing as long as it is only once or twice a month, not all the time. As an aside, I still think I am kicking butt in the department anyways. Before I would go three days of dieting and then have a horrible cheat day, then another four days, cheat, etc etc, so in the scheme of things I feel my dieting has been overly succesful thus far. I still have 3 1/3 months to go before my vacation and I am only 8 pounds from my goal weight, so in the entirety of my dieting goals, I am doing pretty damn well.

Here is a quick run-through of my before and current stats to date:

Weight:
Before: 154
Current: 143
Total Loss: 11

Waist:
Before: 29.5
Current: 28
Total Loss: 1.5 inches

Hips:
Before: 37
Current: 35
Total Loss: 2 inches

I also want to add that I have done some reading up about incorporating cheat days into my diet. Like once a week or once every two weeks and it actually helps to prevent/end plateaus and keeps the body guessing. If your body gets too accustomed to getting a certain number of calories a day the metabolism can slow and become sluggish, or it can kick your body into starvation mode if you are not getting enough. Now granted, 2000 calories a day is hardly going to put my body into starvation mode, but seeing as I am still breastfeeding it is more like I am eating 1600-1700 calories. Though this is not a dangerous level of calories, it is still low enough that after a while my body would become accustomed to this level and then may even slow down the loss. I haven't hit a plateau yet, but I can feel it may be coming so maybe this cheat day will help to bypass it, or at least, help to shorten its duration. I guess it is the same when they tell you to mix up your work out as well. If your body becomes too accustomed to a certain intake or exercise, it becomes more effective and it does not work as hard or burn as much, but throwing that little wrench in the cogs every once in a while might be enough to shake things up and help you to continue towards your weight loss and training goals.

Good day today!

Today was a pretty decent day!! I had clinical today, wasn't too bad. Afterwards I went to lunch with Sammy and Chase at my most favoritist place Panera!! Nothing like some french onion soup and fuji apple and chicken salad for lunch!! Afterwards we went to Christmas Tree Shoppes and I got some pretty neat goodies. I got a few miniscrapbook kits with 6-8 pieces of paper, some stickers, ribbons, and other little goodies in each. I also got a cool case of chipboard tags and shapes to use for 2.99. I got a 1.99 lunch box and some 1.29 silicone cupcake containers. Lots of little goodies for only 30 bucks!! I even got a little box to put all of my scrapbook stickers inside. After my cheapo shopping spree I went home and Chase and I took a kick ass nap!! Nothing like a nap with my babers to energize a girl!!

Not much of a "fun" update, but even though I had very little sleep in me, it was a fun day and I am glad I got to see my Sammy. Oh, and for the record, I am thinking blue!!

LOST!!

I just have to say, I am so super excited for the Lost premiere. I never watched this show before, but over the summer I used the blockbuster online and caught up the first three seasons and then ABC online to watch season 4 and I am Hooked with a capital H!! Only 2 hours and 40 minutes until the premiere!!

Chase is sleeping over Matt's tonight as well. I have to be up at 5 am for clinical tomorrow and I need to get some rest and it makes it easier because I don't have to drop Chase off in the morning. This affords me the opportunity to shower up, eat a good breakfast, prep some lunch, and just veg out until it is time to go. Nothing like getting ready without the fear of waking up the baby!! I miss him, but it is nice to have a night off once in a while, but I can't wait until this clinical is over and those super early mornings are a thing of the past. Well, maybe not a thing of the past, but my future early mornings will be paid, making it much more bearable to do!!

Chase is getting to be such a big boy. He has four teeth now!! Four in about 2 months. I knew they were coming but I didn't realize that they were going to all come in so close together. He is getting even more vocal and mimics sounds really well, even to the point that he is getting the idea of pitch and volume. Neat. He loves to observe the world around him and loves to learn and discover new and wonderful things. Take for example his gag reflex. He learned that if he shoves his fingers back far enough in his mouth he can puke, fun huh?? Well I guess not everything is new and wonderful, just new.

Sometimes I feel like a crappy mom though. I find it hard to sit and play with him all day. Now don't get me wrong, we sit and play, but all day gets a bit tough and sometimes I like to just chill on the computer or work on a scrapbook page and let him play on his own. I guess it is just a matter of finding the balance between playing with him and letting him learn to play and discover independently as well. Hopefully, this will give him a well-balanced demeanor as he grows and he learns to work and play well with others as needed, but also to be a self-starter and independent when that is warranted as well. I guess only the future holds the answer to this question. I am just afraid that he is going to grow up feeling that his mommy doesn't love him as much because she didn't constantly entertain him and she has on occassion let him cry for a few minutes to eat or check her email. Again, only the future will tell if I am a craptastical mom, but for now I will try and do my best and make sure that he comes first and hope and pray that he doesn't have mommy issues down the line. It will be a bit easier too when school is over and I have a steady and consistant schedule.

Wow!

I have not written here in nearly five months, that is not a good thing. I really need to be more proactive in keeping a journal of my life as well as Chase's. I am sure he would love to read about his growth and milestones and how he amazes me everyday, just as I will want to look back and read about it when he is giving me a grandbaby one day. I am currently working on my pregnancy scrapbook and I have most of July done, half of August, a third of September, and half of December. In other words, I have a long way to go. I have all of my Aug, Sept, and Oct pictures printed though, as well as a good portion of December. I really like it so far. I have been using my pregnancy journal entries as the captions for my photos and pages, not for all of them, but for the ultrasound ones and some of the others I think it makes a really nice touch. Nothing like sharing how I was feeling in the moment vs retrospect. Next I plan on making an album dedicated to Chase's first year. I figure my pregnancy one will go from when I found out through the first day or two of Chase's life, the Chase album will go from his birth through his first year...there will be a little overlap, but I think they will make for a good transition from one album to the next. Plus, I don't think the pregnancy album should just end at 40 weeks pregnant and vice versa, the Chase album shouldn't begin when he is three days old. I guess I will just have to play it by ear. The pregnancy album will be chronological, whereas Chase's will be semi-chronological as well as include firsts, favorites, and montages as well. Sounds boring, but I like to have it done as a little reference as I go.

On another note, I am back in school and it is okay, I actually enjoy clinicals but lecture is just plain blah. I am totally over this school thing and I can't wait until I can say "Hello, my name is Chelsea, I will be your nurse today" I am done with the whole "student nurse" idea, I am ready to start my career and even more, start making a living for myself and my son. Plus, the idea of moving out is really nice!!