LOST!!

I just have to say, I am so super excited for the Lost premiere. I never watched this show before, but over the summer I used the blockbuster online and caught up the first three seasons and then ABC online to watch season 4 and I am Hooked with a capital H!! Only 2 hours and 40 minutes until the premiere!!

Chase is sleeping over Matt's tonight as well. I have to be up at 5 am for clinical tomorrow and I need to get some rest and it makes it easier because I don't have to drop Chase off in the morning. This affords me the opportunity to shower up, eat a good breakfast, prep some lunch, and just veg out until it is time to go. Nothing like getting ready without the fear of waking up the baby!! I miss him, but it is nice to have a night off once in a while, but I can't wait until this clinical is over and those super early mornings are a thing of the past. Well, maybe not a thing of the past, but my future early mornings will be paid, making it much more bearable to do!!

Chase is getting to be such a big boy. He has four teeth now!! Four in about 2 months. I knew they were coming but I didn't realize that they were going to all come in so close together. He is getting even more vocal and mimics sounds really well, even to the point that he is getting the idea of pitch and volume. Neat. He loves to observe the world around him and loves to learn and discover new and wonderful things. Take for example his gag reflex. He learned that if he shoves his fingers back far enough in his mouth he can puke, fun huh?? Well I guess not everything is new and wonderful, just new.

Sometimes I feel like a crappy mom though. I find it hard to sit and play with him all day. Now don't get me wrong, we sit and play, but all day gets a bit tough and sometimes I like to just chill on the computer or work on a scrapbook page and let him play on his own. I guess it is just a matter of finding the balance between playing with him and letting him learn to play and discover independently as well. Hopefully, this will give him a well-balanced demeanor as he grows and he learns to work and play well with others as needed, but also to be a self-starter and independent when that is warranted as well. I guess only the future holds the answer to this question. I am just afraid that he is going to grow up feeling that his mommy doesn't love him as much because she didn't constantly entertain him and she has on occassion let him cry for a few minutes to eat or check her email. Again, only the future will tell if I am a craptastical mom, but for now I will try and do my best and make sure that he comes first and hope and pray that he doesn't have mommy issues down the line. It will be a bit easier too when school is over and I have a steady and consistant schedule.